Managing emotions
Learning to manage emotions is important for having a positive life. This can be trickier for some young people for lots of different reasons.
It is helpful to first identify what emotions we are having. For example, we may feel happy, sad, frustrated, or excited. This can help us to understand why we think and behave the way we do. For instance, if we know that we feel anxious when we are in a group of people, we can then think about what it is that makes us anxious. Is it the people in itself? Or is it the crowd? Or are we anxious because of an aspect of the sensory experience like the noise?
By being more aware of our emotions and understanding a situation, we are better able to predict what might happen. This helps us to be able to plan, so we can feel more in control to manage a situation. We can also ask for help and support more easily.
It is helpful to learn about what physical feelings we have in our bodies when we experience different emotions. These can help us communicate to our brains what emotion we are experiencing. For instance, when we are feeling anxious or scared, we may notice our heart or breathing rate increasing. When we are feeling angry, we can feel tense and hot.
The management of our emotions is sometimes called emotion regulation. This simply means being able to manage your feelings.
As we develop, from babies to who we are today, we learn strategies to regulate our emotions with and from others. We have a range of different experiences with other people, some positive, some negative and sometimes they are a bit of both. These experiences shape the way we learn to regulate our emotions. New strategies can be learned by anybody, at any point in their life.
Emotion regulation strategies do not have to be big or complicated. Some common, simple ways of helping yourself feel calmer and regulate your emotions could be:
- Talking with someone you trust
- Exercising
- Getting good sleep
- Doing things that you enjoy
- Making sure you are eating enough healthy food
- Noticing when you need a break or some time on your own
- Writing in a journal
- Relaxation activities and mindfulness
- Use of fidget toys
Distraction is helpful when we feel an emotion which we know may lead to a behaviour we will later regret
It is important to remember that not every strategy will work for every person or for every situation. So, it is good to have lots of different strategies available to try and use. Some people find it helpful to create a 'toolbox' of strategies. It can be helpful to share this with people you trust as they can remind you to use these strategies when you are in a difficult situation.
It is also important to remember that emotions do not last forever. When we are feeling very anxious or distressed it can feel like a never-ending feeling, however, with a bit of time, the intensity of the emotion will lessen.