What Remembrance means to us - Two women veterans tell their story
Public and media imagery around Remembrance has traditionally focused on veterans who fit more familiar public perceptions, meaning some female veterans can feel overlooked or underrepresented at this time of year. Through the women’s veterans support groups run by Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust (NSFT), two women veterans share how they mark this special day for the armed forces and what it means to them.
Remembrance is an important date in the year of anyone who has been in the armed forces. However, some women veterans say they can feel out of place, alienated or uncomfortable at traditional celebrations. NSFT's Veterans Integrated Service supports veterans across Norfolk and Suffolk, including through dedicated women-only support groups.
While the veteran community is diverse, women veterans do not always fit the public perception of what a veteran looks like, and some may carry the psychological and physical legacy of experiences such as gender discrimination, sexual harassment or military sexual trauma during service.
Clinical nurse specialist Vicki Bailey, who set up a women only support group as part of the veterans’ service provided by Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust (NSFT), said: “Many women I have spoken to within the group have unfortunately been through these kind of incidents and struggle, even many years after they have left the military. Remembrance events can be trigger to past events, although we try and focus on the now in our sessions.”
Mandy Small, a former Royal Air Force police dog handler, left the service in 2009 when her husband was posted to Germany and she had a young son to look after.
“To me, Remembrance is about those who made the ultimate sacrifice whilst serving their country,” said Mandy. But she added: “It is important to remember that a definition of a veteran is someone that has served just one day in HM Armed Forces. Public perception of a veteran is an older gentleman in a bowler hat, but this has changed over the years. People can join at 16 and that can mean veterans might be in their late teens or early 20s. It is also important to remember that women serve across all the Armed Forces. This can account for a large part of someone’s life and to have that ignored because they don’t fit the public perception can be extremely degrading.”
Lisa Brosnan, who was in the Army with the Royal Signals at Nuneaton before her medical discharge in 2015, agreed: “It is so important to recognise that veterans don’t always fit the image of elderly men from past wars. Veterans can be any age or gender, from any background, and many are still working, raising families and managing everyday responsibilities. There are more women veterans than many people realise, and their numbers are growing.
She added: “Female veterans can face an added challenge. People may not believe they served because they don’t match the image of a veteran in their minds. I know what it feels like not to be believed or to feel that I don’t fit that image.”
Lisa will be marking Remembrance this year with fellow veterans at Christchurch Park in Ipswich. “I will be paying my respects to the people we have lost in conflict but also reflecting on my own time served and thinking about what we can all do better to support and help each other.”
Mandy and Lisa are both involved in the women’s veterans support groups, which have been running bi-monthly face to face and online in Norfolk since June 2025 and in Suffolk since May this year.
Vicki said: “After feedback from our members, from January 2027, we will be focusing on the face-to-face groups. It would be great to welcome some new members to these in-person sessions in Norfolk and Suffolk.”
Mandy and Vicki will be talking about the groups at the Suffolk Voluntary and Statutory Partnership (VASP) for Mental Health and Wellbeing on 14 December and Vicki has also been approached by Norfolk and Suffolk ICB to lead a presentation on NSFT’s Veterans Integrated Service for GPs in November.
“This is a great opportunity for us to share what we do to those who many veterans may see in the first instance when reaching out for care,” she said.
In the new year, Vicki and a group of female veterans will be visiting Bletchley Park, where the group can spend some time together to help reduce isolation and build on relationships.
Mandy said: “For many female veterans, leaving the Armed Forces can feel isolating. You can go from being surrounded by people who understand military life to feeling like nobody truly 'gets it'. These groups are about more than support; they are about connection, belonging and empowerment.”
She encouraged anyone who was feeling they needed support to reach out. “No one should feel they have to face the challenges of post-service life alone. There is help, there is hope, and there are people waiting to welcome you.”